Arguments, personal taste, forgiveness

My husband and I both knew we would eventually hurt each others feelings. Its bound to happen when living with the same person every day. We knew we would eventually have arguments. However, that didn't stop it from hurting both of us when it happened. I was feeling sick and my husband wanted to be silly with me. I became upset and snapped at him when he started to pick on me about being sick. He wasn't being mean spirited, he only wanted to make me feel better. 

He became sad and withdrawn, then I cried. I hadn't meant to hurt his feelings and he hadn't meant to hurt mine. He was more shocked when I started to cry than when I snapped. I don't cry very often in front of him. I was taught that tears are a way women manipulate men, so I try not to cry too often in front of them. I don't want to seem manipulative. 

There were times when he accidentally hurt me, like yesterday, and he wanted forgiveness. In my eyes, there was nothing to forgive. He hadn't sinned, it just was hurtful to my emotions/pride. I told him I didn't see why he needed forgiveness because he hadn't sinned, but if he wanted it, I would give it to him. He did, so I obliged. 

All of this to say, your emotions and your personal taste are not the Law of God. As a women, you are made to be a helpmeet to your husband, whatever role that falls into. If that means you're the one working because your husband is sick/disabled, then that is what your helpmeet role is. When your spouse offends your personal taste, they are not sinning. If your spouse hurts your feelings but are not sinning, then you need to let it go. If you do not let it go, you are then sinning. 

Forgiveness is for sins. You will sin against your spouse, it is inevitable. When you forgive your spouse, you should never bring it up again in other arguments. How can your forgiveness be real if you bring it up later? 

All of this is said from a newlywed. I am not an ultimate authority and I don't pretend to be. I am only writing my experience and what others have told me. If you have actual marital issues, you should talk to your pastor/elders to work out things and not looking at blogs. Your marriage is important and you need to speak to knowledgeable people.