My Life as a Married Person

 A common misconception when you get married, is that you still have a life outside of your spouse. You do, in a sense. But now you have a partner. Partner in crime, friend, lover. It's not just your life anymore. Then you have kids. You now have at least two extra people in your life.  The way you live your life has a direct impact on your family. If you travel all the time, you run the risk of losing a close connection with your spouse and children. If the way you respond to confrontation is anger and shouting, then you need to take a pause and figure out your emotion. Anger and yelling should never be the way to resolve conflict.  One of the most shelfish things you can say to a spouse is, "it's MY life." Yes. You have a life. But consider the woman/man you married. They gave up a part of their life for you. Independence, a job, own living space, privacy. It's a partnership, not a competition.  I hope I never hear those words from my spouse. I hope I never thin...

 I am not convinced anyone truly heals. We can move forward, we can try to do better. But true healing while forgetting? That is impossible. You will always have those memories even if you wish they didn't exist.  My father wasn't a Christian when I was a child. He was a preacher for almost 10 years when he realized he wasn't saved. I was saved when I was 4. I've had people behave as if that made my life easy, but temptations still happen and I still did/do things I become ashamed of.  My father and mother were both scary people before they were saved. Acting holy and blameless in public, but terrifying and like devils at home. My mom would exaggerate and we would be punished harshly for those exaggerations. My father would yell, storm around the house, and if we look at him wrong (or breathed the wrong way) we would be punished.  As a child, most of my good memories involve when dad was around other people. When I realized this as I got older, I realized how bitter ...

 As many of you probably know, I teach on Outschool. Recently, due to issues with my internet, I have not been teaching ASL as frequently on the website. While I need the money, we are unable to get internet at our house. I was recently paid 31.50 for two different classes which was divided up to be placed in savings, another checking account, my credit card, and student loans. I was also paid around $63 for another class that was also divided against those things.  I was able to pay about 25.50 against my student loans. While that may not seem like a lot, it is getting my $750 loan down to 725. I have more loans but that is the one I'm currently working on. I also have an Ebay account that is very inactive. I have things listed but few things are bought. Whenever I get money from there it usually goes against my credit card or it goes against my loan.  My husband has a sales job and is searching for a new job. He dislikes the fact that he isn't making enough sales and it...

Hello again! Welcome back to my blog. I know it has been a while, so I decided I wanted to give an update on life in general. Today we will be discussing the following: 1. Pregnancy 2. Bible Study 3. Cooking 4. Financial Issues We will start with number one! As y'all know, I am pregnant. I am 27 weeks this week, so I am in my 3rd trimester now. I am so nervous, it means my baby is coming soon. The baby is a girl and her name will be Elizabeth Grace. Her first name is my Great Grandma's middle name.  Here is her baby registry:  https://www.amazon.com/baby-reg/samantha-cox-september-2021-azle/1XTII29PTBXA7 The address used is not mine for safety reasons.  I have been having bizarre food cravings. So far I've craved: Perogies, Panda Express, and Bagel Bites/Pizza. Here is a full list of my food cravings: Perogies, Panda Express, Bagel Bites, Pizza, Bagels, Subway, Pepperoni, Chicken Fries (Burger King), Salad, Ice Cream, and any veggies.  I feel Lizzy moving around a lo...

My husband and I both knew we would eventually hurt each others feelings. Its bound to happen when living with the same person every day. We knew we would eventually have arguments. However, that didn't stop it from hurting both of us when it happened. I was feeling sick and my husband wanted to be silly with me. I became upset and snapped at him when he started to pick on me about being sick. He wasn't being mean spirited, he only wanted to make me feel better.  He became sad and withdrawn, then I cried. I hadn't meant to hurt his feelings and he hadn't meant to hurt mine. He was more shocked when I started to cry than when I snapped. I don't cry very often in front of him. I was taught that tears are a way women manipulate men, so I try not to cry too often in front of them. I don't want to seem manipulative.  There were times when he accidentally hurt me, like yesterday, and he wanted forgiveness. In my eyes, there was nothing to forgive. He hadn't sinned...

Regardless of if we believe it or not, everyone is doing some type of preparation for marriage. For girls, it is a little more clear cut. We are trained very young to be mothers. We have dolls, kitchen toy sets, and small baking ovens. Some mothers do better than others at preparing their daughters and sons to be good spouses.  My mother taught me that I should have supper ready at a specific time, that the house should be clean, and that I should be on top of everything. What has happened instead is that supper is between the times of 4-8PM, the house may or may not be clean, and I feel like I'm flailing around. The expectations of what I learned how things should be, is not what they are. I am also sick 75% of the time and trying to be a good wife for my husband.  My husband was taught that he should work hard, respect his wife, help his wife with the chores and/or kids, and read scripture with his wife. He works very hard, respects me, helps me with anything he can, and rea...

When I was getting married, we did it very fast. I graduated college in May then got married June 5th. We didn't have a lot of time to plan. I was so thankful for my church that donated so many resources for the wedding. Even if the resource is time, it was still important to me.  It is also important to note that this wasn't our ideal situation. We wanted a wedding in NY near a waterfall, but due to Covid-19, we could not do that. So, we had our wedding in my church in Texas with mostly my family and friends. I was sad that my husband's family and friends (except for one family) didn't bother to show up. For me, it showed a side of his family that I didn't really like.  Part of the wedding plans were: Invitations (I used FB and physical ones, also e-mail) Decorations (Behind the pulpit we had doors) Photographer (I am still iffy on if we should've used the one we had, we still don't have the pictures) Food  Wedding Dress Bridesmaids Outfits Grooms Outfit Gr...

On June 5th, 2020 I was married to the love of my life. We met about three years ago in my church, I was the pastors daughter and he is the middle child of seven boys. At that time I liked him, but he did not like me.  We rarely talked, we usually only exchanged pleasantries. I asked him about work or how his week was, he did the same for me. Then my parents moved from NY to TX and I stayed to do school. We talked more after that, but not a lot. Then I went to visit my parents and that was when we started talking almost non stop. It wasn't long after I came home in January that he asked me to court him. From around January to May we dated, then he asked me to marry him. We were engaged at the end of March, beginning of April. Then we were married two months later. We have been together almost 8 months and married for almost 2 months.  The biggest change for me has been my last name. Now my signature is changing because I will have a new last name. Another huge change is keepin...